Wouldn’t it be nice

Senic Tari

Tari

A couple days ago, a girl whom I went to high school with called me out of the blue and said, “What are you doing?”  I told her I was just finishing lunch and she said, “I’d love to see you. I’m here with an Italian friend of mine whom I’d like you to meet, can you come by now?”  Timing was perfect so we met at a restaurant minutes away from where I was.  She speaks Spanish and English, he speaks Italian, Spanish and English and I speak Italian, Spanish and English, so no sooner did I arrive did we find ourselves in a triangle of language a Spanglish and Italish.  I caught up and I found out her worked at a near by fine dining restaurant.  It was a brief but fun meeting and our conversation lasted maybe ten or fifteen minutes at the most before we went our separate ways.

Last night I took a girlfriend to dinner and it happened to be at the place that Italian guy was was working, though I hadn’t made the connection yet. Well… We no sooner walked in the door and I see this tall figure do a double and triple take of me from at least 30 feet away. I recognized him and smiled broadly but his response was unprecedented.  He came rushing over, arms in the air, huge smile, an even bigger “Ciaooooooo!!!!!” followed by an enormous hug and an additional trail of friendly Italian speak.   You would have thought we were reuniting as long lost brothers! The hostess was flabbergasted and smiling, Jenna was smiling and marveling at how she could know who this person is who must certainly be a best friend.  Italian guy  gave me another firm embrace, and I introduced him to Jenna and caught up for another moment before we were seated.  The look on his face was complete elation and joy, like nothing else mattered in the world except that we catch up for this one moment.

I was rolled over. Steamrolled with happiness. Giddy even. (And I have to say giddy is not a response I am familiar with when it comes to other men…)  What a reaction! We barely sat down for two seconds when he came darting out to the table again speaking a 1000 miles a minute in Italian, hands animating each word, “Now look! I can’t be your server but I’ve already had words with the waiter who is handing this section. I told him he better take exceptional care of you, or he’ll have me to answer to!”  Wow! More smiles and then he walked away.

Immediately Jenna wanted to know WHO this guy was. I said, “Baby, I met him YESTERDAY for fifteen minutes!”  She said, “Wow! You met him YESTERDAY?  I thought you’ve known him for years!”  And we talked about it a few more minutes before finally perusing the menu.  What I was struck by most though, was this idea of, wouldn’t it be nice if that was the default way we greeted people?  Can you imagine? If infectious laughter and smiles and embraces was the default way we approached the world?

Before you get to logical on me and say, yes but if everyone did that it wouldn’t be special, or that’s just not how the world works, or that is cheesy, or you’ll never get EVERYONE to be that way, some people are just cold.. and all the other refutes…  stay with me a moment longer.  Besides, when you’re laughing and smiling and having a the time of your life do you ever interrupt yourself and say, “Wait a minute! This might be a problem! I might get to used to happy stuff… or there may be limited supply and I don’t want to use it up. Back to seriousness.”?

What if ONE person treated you that way Italian guy treated me on a daily or weekly basis?  What if throughout your entire week, once a week, ONE person lit up like a Christmas tree when they saw you and greeted you with overwhelming acceptance, friendliness and joy? If all fears and concerns of judgement or what people would think went out the door… Would that make a difference in your day? In your week?  For me it brightened my evening.  In that moment I KNEW, without a doubt, I want more experiences like that in my life. I want to feel this good and this appreciated even more!

There is nothing like the power of a good question and nothing quite like a great question:

What if that one person was who made that difference was you? What if you were the one who people couldn’t wait to see because your energy and zest was so off the charts, or pleasant to be around that more people couldn’t get enough of you; and they wanted to be around you, talk to you, have fun with you.

All too often our friends and family call us or we call them and we’re greeted with an, “Oh hey!” or “How are you?”  Can you think of ways to break the pattern for your relationships and friendships and set a new tone of zest for being alive?

Yes we can.

How to get what you want out of life

Let’s pick up the subject of anything you desire in your life right now.  Seriously, take a moment to bring it to the front of your mind and write it down in your Epica journal.  It might be money, a partner, a happy relationship, or freedom.  As you begin to think about why you want those things or feelings, notice the feeling place of it.  In other words, what is the emotional response you have around that subject. First identify if it’s positive or negative, good or bad and then try to label the feeling. 

For example: Money. How do I feel about it? Wish I had more of it.  Wish I could pay this or that off. That feels like lack. Lack is negative. 

“Relationship: I’ve got a wife. I love her to pieces. She’s wonderful. We’re getting along so well and we’re both so supportive of each other.” That sounds abundant, and positive.

Now, here’s one of life’s secrets:  The secret to having anything that you desire, is finding the feeling place of how good it feels to have it now, without having it now.  There is a very real gap between how you feel about the lack of that which you desire and the feeling place and knowing place of actually living it, actually knowing it’s yours.  Your work is to close that gap.  There are dozens of ways to word this but you’re playing with your thoughts until you can get a visceral response from your body of the joy of having it or the relief that comes from getting it.  Writing  it down makes that process happen even faster.

With the global popularity of “manifesting,” (We all do it, some just create faster and easier than others) and the surfacing of perhaps one of the best kept secrets of the world [exactly, this is not new, but it has been a secret and we all possess the tools to live this way]: that we are in fact in control of our lives and can create our own reality or life we want to live, there has never been a better time to be alive and begin creating that which you desire no matter who you are and where you are. And the great news is, you’re going to do it all on your own.

So, I’ll define “manifesting” as bringing something into one’s life that otherwise did not exist before.  It existed in thought form, as everything we own now or are living now was first thought into being.  That is to say we wanted it first before it came to us.  We asked before it was given, and in order to get anything you want you have to ask for it even if you’re asking yourself.  For many, the idea of manifestation is the presence of physical proof that you did “it” or brought “it” into your life and now here he/she/it/those feelings/experiences sit before you.   Are you with me so far?

Let’s bring this to a close so you can get in on the fun of your own life.  Sometimes when things are really good we forget to notice the absence of things that are really bad. I like to remind myself of the absence of those things to feel even better. So, you may not notice that while there is something valuable and powerful for you to learn and apply to your life on every page, there is no convincing or forcing going on here. No pushing, no “buy this, drink that, join our club” or gettting charged reoccurring monthly fees-all of which I don’t allow in my own personal life and so we’ll have none of it here [I understand what you’re saying about the fees (and I like the creativity of it), but try rewording it a bit to make it more precise].  I’d also like to draw your attention to the fact that we’ll [who is “we”? Make sure you are consistent with the usage of “we” and “I”] never suggest that what you are doing is the wrong way and we’ll never suggest that there is only one singular way to fulfill your desires.  There are many, many roads that lead to fulfillment and success.

We will however recommend that you engage in one of the most powerful acts on the planet as often as you can and that is to put it all down in your own hand written words.  And if you’re willing to do that in your own way and how you want to do it, then what better place to treasure and keep those words safe, than in than an exquisite Epica journal? But it is, of course, only a suggestion.

 For example:

“I want more money because…”  Because you love the idea of financial freedom?  Because you love how good it feels to be able to say, “I can buy that, and that and that and that…”? Why do you want more money?

“I want to take more vacations or spend more time with my family because…”  Because you love how it feels to be free? To just take off from the day-to-day life, arrive at a destination and explore something new? Because your family brings you joy? How does it feel when you get to do that?

Trace any feeling back to its roots and the simple answer becomes, “I want it because it feels good,” OR, “I want it because in the having of it, I will feel better than I feel now.”

Intro to what we really want

We can all agree that information comes at us from  more angles than we’d probably like.  I once learned that on average the human eye sees something to the tune of 10,000 advertisements on a given day. We get junk snail mail, junk email, and a lot of junk phone calls.  To our credit however, we’re one phrase and one click away from learning about any subject on the planet via the world wide web and in most cases we can watch a video about it. But what do we do with it all and is bringing us joy?  It’s easy to get lost, and forget what we were even searching for as we engross ourselves with other people’s ideas, other people’s books, and other people’s advice on how to live your life.  But is there someone outside of us who knows better?  Is there a force outside of us who knows better? Who knows what you like and desire most? Who better to be in control of the vessel we call ‘self’ than ourselves? No one.  So many people will happily tell you what to do, how to live and what action you need to take but the truth of the matter is they can only do so from their self-oriented viewpoint.

After decades of weeding through other people’s books and videos on self help, life, business, religions, spirituality and more, I’ve discovered a better way.  I want to propose a different way thinking and writing that can, no matter where you are in life, transform your ability to create change and happiness and get all those goodies you’ve been wanting. Oh and by the way it doesn’t require money, the need to join a religion or sell your soul. It just requires that you do what I tell you to do. Kidding.  You’ve got what it takes, we just need to do a little tuning.

And a little tuning means change.  The only constant is change, but where to go from here?  How can we show ourselves that even things that displease us when they seem to happen ‘to’ us, are actually things that happen ‘for’ us? How do we get what we want?

Consider this somewhat elusive obvious statement: everything in the world that we want or desire, we want because we believe that in the having of it, we will feel better.   Another way of wording it is to say that we believe we will be better off, or grow or expand.   Well, it turns out we have no choice but to grow and expand and that feeling, ‘feeling better,’ feels to you, in your chest, like something ranging from relief to exquisite pleasure and inspiration.

And what do we really want? Joy. We want joy.  We want one fulfilling experience after another whether that comes in the form of helping others get what they want or the road to getting what we want.

Expansion and growth are inevitable. The only question is, are YOU allowing yourself to keep up to speed with who you see yourself as and what you want yourself to be or become?  In fact, the only questions you’ll ever need to ask yourself are:  Do you regularly spend time imagining how good it feels to be that new expanded version of you and not who you are right now so that you know the feeling place of it? Are you feeling your way into your dream or fantasy or goal by picking different thoughts about it and seeing what kind of reaction you get in your chest, and then leaning in that direction with similar thoughts? Are you living, in your head, the way you see yourself living? Can you get to where you want to be mentally, without ever seeing evidence of it physically? Can you, as some people might say, keep the faith?  Are you following your bliss?  When you get to the place of answering these with a resounding yes, all the signs and evidence in the world that supports your vision will begin to show up on your doorstep quickly and easily.

And that’s friends, is creation. That is manifestation.  And that is what each of these posts will help you to do. Your creation. You expansion.  Easily, effortlessly and with a smile. Let’s do it.

What to do if you’re having a bad day, week, month or year

One of the first things we try to do when something isn’t working out the way we want is to try to wrestle the problem to the ground and attack it right away.  We think about it, obsess over it, and use it as our primary reason to not feel good.  We make the problem feel so big and glaring that everything else that is going well in our lives loses tremendous focus.  Perhaps the largest misconception about problems solving, which really is about feeling better, is that to solve the problem you need to address the problem itself, specifically.  But there is a better way.

One of the quickest ways of moving from a place of where you don’t want to be to where you do want to be is to find SOMETHING ELSE to think about, obsess over, focus on, do, or create that gets your mind OFF the problem. Now that’s not easy for a lot of us to hear. Some might rally, are you suggesting that amidst this financial issue I am having that I just stop working on it and go fishing? And the answer is yes. But it’s the go fishing part that you need to customize for your own body and mind. We’ll return to this as as separate post as well.

When you’re mind is chronically focused on something that doesn’t feel good and it’s really got your attention, you’re not in the place of being solution oriented and you’re certainly not in the place of having a solution come to you.  To complicate things more, we humans generally feel like we have to go from feeling down in the the dumpster to totally radiant immediately.  A quantum leap like that is generally not possible all at once but it can be reached quicker than you think.  For example, have you ever noticed that much of your inspiration will hit you, not with your nose to the grindstone, or when you’re stressed out in a pool full of endless work or responsibility, but when you’re relaxed and usually doing something you enjoy? Think back and you’ll see it’s true.

So what can you do right now to feel better?  That is the perfect question to ask yourself.  Ask it and then get out your Epica journal. We all have something we’d like to feel better about. Whether it’s body weight, finances, a loved one or relationship, personal power… there’s always something.  With the vast array of emotions that we can feel at any given time it’s really hard to know what you’re reaching for here. So first, try to identify where you are. Are you depressed? Angry? Vengeful? Frustrated? Irritated? Bored? Just identify the emotion it and let it be. It’s fine to be wherever you are and if you feel like you need to write something about it, do so.

Now, and this will be a reoccurring theme throughout all of these post, begin to use your will-power to focus your attention on a thought that gives you the feeling of RELIEF. This one sentence is really the only ‘work’ you will ever have to do.

That’s it. That’s all you’re searching for but there’s a catch: I didn’t say, “Just think positively,” or “Just think happy thoughts.” You’re going for the FEELING of relief. A feeling means you viscerally feel it inside your body and your body says to you: “THAT feels better. Not a million times better, and not the best you’ve ever felt, just better.

And relieving thoughts might not be what you think – you might have to go through several that you think are leaning you in the right direction before you FEEL it.  This is why it is really helpful to be writing in your journal.  Start with where you are:

I am very hurt or angry because… Now, where can you go from here?

I hate feeling this way.  That doesn’t feel better.

It’s all his/ her fault - Still no change in the feeling in my chest

If s/he didn’t never said this to me or treated me like that, I would not be feeling this way – Still disempowering

I am alive and breathing and have all my limbs intact. In this moment I do have choice. - Is something like relief stirring in my tummy?

If I am hungry I can eat. If I want to walk outside and breathe some fresh air, I can. I like the way fresh air feels passing through my body – maybe I’ll write outside.  Sunshine is good. Cool air is good. – Hmmm, maybe slightly better

Wouldn’t it be nice if while out here, I had a glass of water or wine or juice? Maybe I’ll treat myself to that. – Better

But I hate feeling this way. I am so angry.  How could she/ he? – As you turn in the opposite direction

Wait a moment… am I looking at this in a way that serves me or doesn’t serve me? – Better

If I have a choice to look at this how I want to look at it, would I rather be right or rather feel better? I’d rather feel better. – Better

If it’s my choice, that makes me feel empowered.  Whether it’s true or not, what are some BETTER thoughts I can think about this person that would help ME move forward? – And now you’re on the right track

You want to get yourself going on a bit of a rampage here. It really doesn’t matter WHAT you write about but it matters HOW it feels when you write it.  It’s even ok to have not-so-nice thoughts at first if it moves you up in a feeling of relief. You don’t want to take action on any negative ideas but the truth is, a person who is connected and feeling good never would. All we’re doing here is moving you in the direction of where you want to be.

If it wasn’t readily obvious by the way you feel as you did this exercise, the power of this exercise is found in the fact that you can and have the power to make yourself feel better without anyone else’s help and without anyone needing to change for you. You can move mentally in your mind to a place that FEELS better and pull yourself out of any darker place without anyone or anything needing to change.

And the most exciting part of all this is: THAT is what really created visible change in your life.

Actually the most exciting part is that there is no limit to how good you can feel.

Welcome to Epica. Now let’s improve your life.

First and foremost welcome to the Epica blog.  A place to grow and share ideas to quickly transform your life into the next best version.   Let’s jump right in.  We want you to feel welcome and entertained here, but more than that we hope you’ll find yourself intrigued, excited, inspired, and empowered.  Above all I hope you will acquire/receive something from this blog that you can instantaneously apply to your own life.   You have not only discovered the perfect gift for any occasion by finding Epica, but also all the tools you’ll ever need to use it well.  This side of Epica has been created to help you grow, enrich and specifically help you achieve anything that you are now asking of your life in this moment.  That may sound at first like a tall order to fill.  This very moment could be the beginning of a new journey for you or it may merely be a signpost along your well-defined path.  As you explore this site you may begin to notice that it is unlike any journal or product company you’ve experienced before: there’s our products naturally, and this section to show you how to most effectively use them and personally transform.  You may come across words that immediately give you a feeling of knowing that it’s right for you.  Consider the following:  

Are there areas in my life that I would like to improve immediately? 

Are there unwanted things, situations or people in my life that feel stuck? 

Is it possible that I am never ‘stuck,’ but have options from wherever I am?

Would I love to have a mental toolbox to solve any problem? (without buying a $5000 DVD program?)

Can I be the creator of my future experience? 

Is it possible to shift my world without action but with thoughts… words… pen and ink? 

We know that the answers are yes. Amidst the blur of information available to us both online and in daily life, the Epica blog is a place you can find something new that instantly and effortlessly resonates within you to make a change in your life now, right now. 

We have full confidence that if this type of wording or information is for you, you’ll feel it and gravitate towards it.  You’ll feel a surge of energy in your chest or stomach area and you’ll know to move forward with delight.  You already know what it feels like when something is right for you: It’s like the feeling when you meet someone, man or woman, and and you’re immediately cued in that you want to see more of them… maybe for business, friendship or love, but your  body tells you so and it always does. At every given moment you know, through how you feel, whether to move forward with something or now. And those are the feelings and insights we want to cultivate here. 

The Epica blog is a community where you can post your own experiences, respond to ours, or simply use the free tools in the following posts to get what you want out of life with using the easiest most effortless toolbox you can imagine: these posts, your own thoughts and words, a pen and an Epica journal.  If it’s not for you or you find yourself disinterested in any way, enjoy the pictures, shop the site, add to cart when you find the book of your dreams and we’ll get it right out to you.

But if you want to go deeper we’d love to help you realize you can do some serious self-discovery each and every time you visit because each time you come back there will be something new for you to play with, and each time you come back you’ll be in a new place of wanting, a new place of expectation, and wanting plus true expectation is the recipe for manifestation. 

 So please browse, search and dig for topics that appeal most to you, and if you find one is remiss, add your own for others to enjoy or comment in a friendly way about something you’ve read… enhance the process. Every time you explore you’ll find secrets, suggestions and guidance you won’t find anywhere else, much less on an Italian Journal website.  We just want you to be able to unlock the full potential of what you can actually do with one of our journals so that you can use it as a powerful tool to change your life.  In truth anything said here can be done mentally but there is something so undeniably powerful about making your thoughts real through writing them out; it brings your desires to you even more quickly.  Every writer in the world can tell you.  If you’ve ever kept a journal during any portion in your life, reread some of it and marvel at far you’ve come since then and how different you are now. You’d never go back and you never can.  

So, we’ll give you processes: a regular series of small digestible ideas that you can really sink your teeth into and take action on ‘write’ away.   We’ll keep them simple and to the point – no fluff – so that you can quickly find the things that are important to you. What a novel idea.  After all, if you can’t fill your own cup, you have nothing to give. We think nothing matters more that you find what you need.  

Enjoy the blog and if there is anything more we can do to make your experience here more enjoyable, please let us know.